Let's Talk About Birth, Baby
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-03 15:27:46
I'm obviously glad to hear that sex is even better for her after childbirth but let me quickly clear the air before I get all TMI on your asses. Sex has not change state "worse" since childbirth. Nothing is more annoying than having words minced especially when they're on public display. I did say that sex is "not the same" after a vaginal bring forth. For me. And I presume for other women as well. So I figured now was as good a measure as any to host a forum on the affect of sex after vaginal bring forth. There is a chapter in my book called "Sex Isn't for Pussies.... It's for Vaginas" so this is a subject I undergo not only thought about in tedium but wrote about at length. I understand why women opt for Caesareans. I also understand why some women feel uncomfortable breastfeeding for similar reasons: Our bodies are sexual up until the time they are perfunctory and that can be incredibly confusing. And to make matters worse woman are punished for being public with their discomfort on the subject. In other words we're not supposed to be weirded-out by humanity's most natural act(s). Sex leads to childbirth after all and childbearing women are expected to return to their sexual selves six-weeks postpartum. When I was pregnant and even long before my biggest worry of growing up getting married becoming a mother had to with the effects of childbirth on my body specifically my girly bits. I was scared shitless that what was once sexual would become perfunctory and thus suffer it's mojo. That no one would want to have sex with me ever again or worse that I would be unable to see myself sexually after childbirth. That things would stretch. That crazy dirty sex would no longer be as crazy or dirty. That I would conclude different. And even though I opted for a vaginal bring forth change surface after complications with my pregnancy a move of me was quietly hoping for a C-Section. Because a do by out the vagina is a very hard pill to swallow for some women. It was for me. I couldn't breastfeed for longer than six-weeks and for those weeks I pumped until I bled. I had four ducts that worked after two breast-reductions and I hated it. I hated breastfeeding but I undergo a feeling that had I been able to breastfeed. I would undergo had a hard time with it anyway. Because even though I haven't had sexual feeling in my breasts since I was an 8th grader. I have always perceived my breasts as sexual. I was unable to change that after giving bring forth. I tried to blink the switch but couldn't. Just desire I couldn't find the switch during fight when the doctor offered me a mirror to watch my baby crown. I didn't want to see what it looked desire to have a baby coming out of there. It was not "beautiful" to me. It was frightening. Horrifying change surface. For me pregnancy and childbirth caused what I call a "sexistential crisis" personally defined as the psychological changes that occur when a woman who has always thought of her body as a sexual thing is suddenly expected to step into a new climb with a new set of instincts momentarily dismissing years of formulated inclinations mainly of the sexual persuasion. And a lot of "sex feels different after vaginal birth" has to do with that. It also quite frankly has to do with the fact that sex did and still does feel physically "different." (Ahem: Items in overhead bins can and may alter during landing.)I was given an episiotomy after one displace. My adulterate told me I would rip if he didn't perform the procedure so I gave him the "okay". But the incision he made was so large. I barely had to push twice before Archer came out."You're young," he said. "You'll heal quickly."But I didn't. I was uncomfortable for a year itchy from scar-tissue and often in pain after sex. Certain sexual positions were off limits because of discomfort. And new positions that I never cared for before took their place. Fortunately my fears of becoming a hallway (as in hot dog down a hallway) were put to be. The vagina is a go across that doesn't suddenly become wizard's sleevesque after childbirth and if a woman learns anything in the locker dwell it's that kegels are a girl's best friend. But a woman's inner workings are far more complex. Bits and pieces move and dress and flexing our inner "muscles" doesn't change the fact that things can conclude different up in there. During sex. After sex. Riding the ride at the gym... Our bodies are meant to command childbirth. Our bodies are built for breastfeeding. And women are supposed to be comfortable with these things. We're supposed to look at ourselves desire "mama goddesses" or "hide mamas" but it's not that easy for some women. It wasn't that easy for me. I undergo always felt that I was in the minority for feeling this way like there was something wrong with me for being lie-awake-at-night afraid for my sexuality after childbirth. That my discomfort with viewing my body as anything other than sexual was something that made me immature misogynistic or worst of all unmotherly. And it made me query how many other women felt or feel this.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://girlsgonechild.blogspot.com/2007/09/lets-talk-about-birth-baby.html
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