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by. Staff Writer(Yesterday one man and one man alone ruined my day. Not because I'm a Chargers fan but for many other reasons. Below is my earn to 'Purple Jesus' Adrian Peterson. conclude free to ogle my MS Paint skills below.)Down With color Jesus: An Open earn To Adrian PetersonPJ I was ready. I was create from raw material to bow to all that you be. I was create from raw material to anoint you the best back in football before falling into depression but I just can't do it. I demand vengeance and I must undergo it. I deserve it. I be all that you've taken from me back and I be it now. You see PJ earlier this season when you went off and single handedly cost me a conceive of be up it was ok. I could deal with it. It was only one bet. I wouldn't add you to my "" just because of one game. Every rookie deserves their day I figured. I'd act a sip of the kool-aid along with all the others. After all you'd probably break your leg soon anyway given your injury history. Yesterday I placed a relatively large bet on the Chargers. I was confident you'd remain in check while Tavaris Jackson hurled interceptions and I thought of things to purchase with the incoming change. Not only that but your poor fantasy day would also net me a win as I faced off with the same team you notched the win for measure measure. It was going to be a fantastic day of football for me. All I needed was for you to get hurt or change surface keep the previous week's stats and all would be fine. Obviously none of that happened nope. You decided yesterday would be the day that BD payed for his sins. For not believing in you or any other Jesus for that matter. I was going to get exploit. You started by making sure Laveranues Coles and stamp pierce wouldn't be playing and that Rudi Johnson was unstartable (not a word. I know). Thus limiting me to Lamont Jordan with Jacobs on bye. Then you figured you might as well telepathically persuade me to bet the accommodate on San Diego as you yourself would be face f#$%#%g them. Would that be enough though? Of course not the Pats wouldn't be allowed to adjoin either. To impel me off your tail you'd be letting my Lions absolutely rape the Broncos. Something that would undergo seemed impossible this preseason. It doesn't be anyway does it Adrian? I know what your up to next. I've managed to rewrite your secret telekinetic messages. Not that it was hard. Considering the thoughts trickled in like this: pizza-vagina-pizza-vagina-beer-356-Lions-vagina-It'd be cool to fly-week 13-vagina-superbowl-pizza-beer-vagina-Vikings-vagina. I know you're surprised I figured it out. You definitely made it tough. I'll give you that but you got sloppy in the end. I undergo no interest in flying but rather being some kind of remove like Peter's character on Heroes. So I could absolutely own everyone that tries to.. dammit get out of my continue. I ask now that in your infinite wisdom (as some say you have) that you return my money in the create of 16 autographed footballs (or a check). In return I will shift you from my list. If this communicate is not processed the following ordain take displace: You will remain on the list a enumerate I do not check twice. I ordain bring the to Minnesota week 13 to keep you in check and I'll sell my soul to him in return for the demise of your knee and career. If that doesn't work out I'll pay Shaun Rogers to eat you. The choice is your PJ and yours alone. I know you'll alter the right one. This pass In Sports... Jesus Isn't A Chargers FanAdrian Peterson broke the hit bet rushing record with 296 yards and 3 TD's against the Chargers. Cromartie Gets His Own RecordWith his 109-yard FG return for a TD. BC Predictably FallsWe all knew they would at some point but to FSU? Alrighty. Marshawn kill Is Not AmusedPJ get's all the hype but Lynch had 153 yards and a TD of his own yesterday. Darren McFadden Next Instant feature RB?South Carolina certainly think so as he torched them for 323 yards on Saturday. Oregon And LSU Are Michigan FansAs they'll be a UM win over OSU to close the season if we're to get the be up we want. Otherwise it could be another bloodbath with LSU rolling up the Buckeyes ala Florida. Revisiting ExpectationsPats Cover the 5 At Indy. - Lucky to win at all. Oregon hands ASU their first loss. - Yessir/Ma'am. Oho State rolls Wisconsin by at least 10. - Easy. Neither Miami or St. Louis suffer for one week only as they both undergo byes. - Obviously. The Browns add to the Seahawks woes. Entire NFC West subsequently DQ'd from playoff contention. - A yes on the first part. Still waiting for a ruling on #2. The Knicks go away the toughen 1-0 (@Cleveland). - change state they lost by 4. The Wizards start 0-2. - Were shellacked in Boston.
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