imthatguy: One night domiciliate from the bars which aside from the occasional pizza displace the only other thing open was this porno store. I’m not sure why - I evaluate one of my friends wanted to buy a magazine - but we went in and annoyed the shop’s patrons by picking up every ridiculous sex toy and laughing about it loudly. The most absurd thing we found was a large plastic beer can - meant to be desire “Coors Light,” or something but much larger - and when you unscrewed the cap at the top there was a latex vagina inside that you were meant to stick your dick in and fuck the can. Well not really “fuck” the can exactly but masturbate with it.
imthatguy: So of cover we have to buy the beer can vagina because we’re drunk and it’s funny and we evaluate we’ll sight some entertaining unintended use for it. So we paid for it and continued on our merry way back to the hotel. Once there we said our goodbyes and retired to our rooms and I realized that somehow I’d gotten stuck carrying the bag from the sex store. I set it down on the desk and didn’t think much about it. That is for a few minutes until I found myself sitting on the bed in my hotel room drunk and lonely and sexually frustrated and I kept staring over at that stupid beer can vagina.
imthatguy: “Maybe I should just try it. Just see what it feels desire…” I convey why not right? You know. Just for kicks alter? So you experience what? I fucked it. Yeah. I fucked a plastic beer can. I fucked the shit out of that can. And you experience what? It entangle alright. It did the cozen. That is until it was all over. Until the moment after when I was hit by a sobering freight instruct of humility looking drink at my dick stuck inside a latex vagina housed in a plastic beer can. Moments like that you start to question everything - “How the hell did it come to this? Who am I? What am I doing with my life?” I probably sat there for an hour silently with my plastic lover pondering my existence.
imthatguy: The next morning when the affect of the previous night came up and someone said. “oh where’s that funny beer can thing we got? Rob you had it right?” And everyone looks at me and I just look at them for a moment and then say. “…I fucked it. I fucked it and I hated myself and now it’s gone.” There was a brush aside delay followed by uproarious laughter. The ridicule took months to weaken.
Related article:
http://1nation.eu/post/10532843
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