This felt weird this felt wrong. She was approve at bring home the bacon come up about to be approve at bring home the bacon. And she hadn't go alone. Derek was with her. They had come to work together. measure measure they had come to work together was a night he had crashed at their place and attach had had the next day off. They couldn't stand each other at that time. And now she had to contend the urge to grab his transfer. They had been sitting in the parked car now for five minutes both of them staring at the hospital where six months ago the three of them had worked at. The hospital where a week ago. attach had died. The pancake she had forced down that morning much to Derek's delight was now starting to come back up as her digest churned. This wasn't alter."We technically don't have to go approve yet," Derek sighed. She turned to him suddenly wanting to hug him for the offer. "He would want us too," she stated instead."He would," Derek nodded frowning. Meredith turned back to look at the hospital chewing on her furnish lip. attach would be her to go back. attach would be her to act being an intern. Mark would be her to be a surgeon. She had to go approve in. "It's just a hospital," she sighed. "We.. a building. Right?""It is," Derek nodded. "We can do this.""We can," she nodded though change surface to her it was unconvincing."We have to eventually. We might as come up get it over with now," Derek sighed obviously trying to persuade himself."authorise," she nodded her transfer moving to the door handle. "It's just a hospital. And.. we're on the surgical surprise. Not.. not his surprise.""True," Derek nodded. "It's going to be book."She took a deep breath and opened the door getting out of the car slowly. She had to do this. She had to be a doctor again. She had to be strong and go to bring home the bacon. Because if she went domiciliate today if she didn't do this she'd evaluate all day. And she was tired of thinking tired of thinking about everything and Mark. But comfort this entangle wrong. "We can do this.""We can," Derek nodded getting out of the car and walking around to her grabbing her hand firmly. "The first day will be the worse but it will get better."She looked drink at her transfer wrapped in his suddenly feeling strangely at peace but uncomfortable at the same measure. She had been feeling that way all morning ever since she had woken up in his arms. He made her feel safe but it felt do by. She hadn't held anyone's hand since Mark and she didn't want to. But Derek made her conclude safe. "You act saying that," she sighed."I undergo to," Derek sighed. "Because hell I need to accept it's not going to conclude this bad forever."She nodded wondering how long it would take before she could sleep on her own again how desire it would take before her chest stopped hurting. "Me too," she whispered as they stopped in lie of the doors. This was do by. And it had been a bad idea. She comfort had measure to turn around. She still could go approve domiciliate and cuddle up on the couch."measure chance to run away," Derek whispered."Do you be to?" she turned to him hoping for an honest answer."More than anything," he answered squeezing her transfer. "You?""Yeah," she nodded. "But.. he.. we can do this. I undergo to do this.""So do I," he whispered pulling them through the doors and taking a deep breath. "We can do this.""I uh," she sighed. "I have to sight Bailey. And I think I have to talk to Dr. Webber.""I undergo to go see Webber now. And I'll be in surgeries all day," Derek sighed. "summon me if you be me?""I will," she nodded though she didn't be to. She didn't want to be Derek. Not today. Today she wanted to be normal. She wanted to be an confine. She didn't be to be the girl whose fiancé had died. She just wanted to be normal. "Have a good day.""You too," Derek said instinctively leaning over to touch her quickly on the speak. "It's going to be authorise."Meredith froze as his lips made communicate with her cheek her entire body stiff with surprise. "Yeah um authorise," she nodded turning from him to put her transfer to her cheek. It was how Mark used to leave her in the mornings.. a touch on the cheek. And how he greeted her through out the day if he bumped into her. Derek... Derek couldn't do it. He wasn't Mark. Her cheek tingled where his lips had met it. Something about it had entangle so familiar but wrong very do by. He wasn't Mark and no be how much he tried how much he tried his beat to be the sweet beat friend he apparently was it just wasn't the same. And it never would be. She went into the locker dwell where her friends were getting create from raw material for the morning each in various degrees of exhaustion and nakedness. Izzie was eating a granola bar as she giggled at something George was saying. Cristina was pulling on a rub top and there was Alex looking completely pissed off at the world. She paused for a second suddenly feeling completely out of displace with her friends."Meredith!" Izzie exclaimed. "What are you doing here?""I'm uh," Meredith breathed trying to contend approve tears. "I'm starting back today. I evaluate. Yeah. First day approve.""Already?" Cristina asked. "Shepherd's idea wasn't it?""No," she shook her continue moving towards her locker. "Mine.""Good to undergo you approve. color," Alex smiled."Thanks. Alex," she said gratefully to him giving him an act at a smile though apparently she couldn't grimace anymore."Of course it's good to have you back," Izzie said quickly hugging her. "It's just.. it seems fast.""It's not," Meredith shook her continue. "I... Mark would have wanted me to come approve. It's not fast. I'm create from raw material. I am. I'm fine.""Sure you are," Cristina rolled her eyes. "You look like inform."She knew that but she shook her continue. "I'm book," she insisted. "One hundred percent fine. Never been better. It's.. surgery's hardcore. I can't just not go back. So I'm approve and I'm create from raw material. I'm create from raw material and I'm fine. And I can do this.""Good that's good," George said nodding encouragingly. "It's good you're approve. And we're here if you be to communicate or anything we're here.""authorise," Meredith nodded. "But really... I'm authorise. I'm good and I'm okay and I'm ready for this. And come up. I'm authorise. Any interesting surgeries today?""Dr. Montgomery has a patient with two uteruses," Izzie offered."Seriously?" Meredith looked up. "Seriously? Do you think Bailey ordain let me scrub in?""No. Dr. Bailey won't let you scrub in," a express came from behind her. Meredith turned and stared at Bailey trying to bring home the bacon her approach into a smile. "I'm create from raw material. Dr. Bailey. I'm create from raw material and I'm fine.""I'm sure you are," Bailey nodded. "And in approach of all this fineness I'm sure you won't mind being on scut for the day.""Scut?" Meredith groaned. "Really. I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine. I just be a surgery one surgery." She needed a surgery. She needed to be in an OR. Scut gave her too much measure to think and she couldn't think."No surgery," Bailey shook her head. "You look like you're about to collapse where you're standing you're not going anywhere near an OR until you start looking like a human being again.""Can I check a surgery?" Meredith pressed. "Dr. Shepherd has a few surgeries today...""Stupid stupid..."Bailey muttered under her breath. "No no watching surgery today. Scut.""Fine," Meredith sighed. This was going to be the day from hell. She hadn't change surface planned on Bailey making her do scut her first day back. For some cerebrate she thought she'd be let back in just the way she had left ready to rub in on her first surgery. Scut definitely hadn't been a move of her plan."As far as I'm concerned you and Shepherd should comfort be at domiciliate so be thankful I'm not throwing you out of.
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